Curiouser and curiouser…
Some people cannot stand the idea of counselling.
This can be for any number of reasons, some valid, most not! But then again, I would say that wouldn’t I? Some people have had counselling before and didn’t like it/the counsellor. They felt patronised, they felt like a victim, they felt like a patient, the counsellor always thought they knew best, the counsellor talked too much about themselves, the counsellor asked about private stuff…etc. All these complaints can be very valid.
Always remember, you are in control, you can change your counsellor.
Similarly, I have heard the complaint that the counsellor did not ‘fix’ the individual / partner / family / relationship / problem to the client’s satisfaction. Now, this is tricky as clearly there needs to be clearer outcome / expectation management from the counsellor / client and this should be a key part of any initial session. That said, this goes into the territory of my previous post “if I had a magic wand…. Which I don’t!” – what is a realistic outcome for you?
Always remember, you are in control, you are the expert in yourself, or your relationships, or your issues and your needs. The counsellor is there to assist you in a supportive, an understanding and in a non-judgemental way.
I have heard the complaint that the counsellor was ‘not on my side’. That’s an easy one. A counsellor should be independent. Supportive, understanding, non-judgemental AND independent. They are no one’s side nor there to find fault.
Always remember, counsellors should be curious, supportive, understanding, empathetic, reflective and independent – but not, generally, on your side